blood amongst the kisses
A sweet aspect of John Jacoby's Circus Maximus event is
that he rewards the first driver into each turn with a Hershey's
Kiss. The candies replace the dolphins which were upturned in
the Roman Colosseum to record the number of laps run.
won our GM of the Year Award in 2002 and for an encore shattered
the event's attendance record by 19 - breaking the century mark
for the first time. Taking a break next year for a well deserved
rest and some more playing time, John's replacement will be hard
pressed to fill his sandals. Perhaps we need to build him a new
colosseum with these attendance records.
Best Quote of the Tournament: "They Killed Winnie!"
(said when the bear drawn chariot lost a steed.)
The finals of Circus Maximus had 14 entrants; two light,
four medium and eight heavy chariots.
The race started with blue and orange cringing in the starting
gate until turn 3. Purple, driven by two-time defending champion
Steve Katz, was dispatched with a dead horse quickly. There would
be no three-pete. (The ALPO representative was seen to leave
his box early to make a bid.) Turns 3, 4 and 5 set the tone of
disaster for the race with a lost whip by grey. The trip thru
the first turn was punctuated by three hits on gold's left wheel,
four on gold's horses, four on yellow's horses and one on white's
6 turned into an attack-fest as the heavy chariots were drawn
early and did their duty. The horses injured included; black
4, orange 5, blue 4, and brown 1. Gold took four damage on his
left wheel. He survived his initial wheel test, but failed and
flipped when his chit was drawn. So much for 13th place. The
fastest chariot was now the bears with a speed of 20.
Turn 7: The pink horses took two damage while the unfortunate
green team took 4 and stopped with a very dead horse. The death
of this second horse was all that kept the mob from attacking
the cart manufacturers. Thus far, there had been four successful
horse attacks with a damage result of 0 hits. Two of them were
from HEAVY chariots!!! (The ALPO rep was seen screaming at the
wheel manufacturers about their decision to include Nerf wheels
in their catalog.)
As turn 8 began, there were yellow, brown, bears, pink, green
(with a dead horse) and black lined up just past the second curve.
A successful ?? attack by brown caused six wheel hits, two on
brown and four on yellow. Red likewise did three wheel damage
to blue at a like cost to himself. Red then took one horse damage.
On turn 9 the ALPO rep was grinning as green did a manly six
damage to the black horses, killing one. The brown and bear horses
took one and two hits respectively. Black cut loose and grimly
limped after green.
Turn 10 was truly grim for black as he took four more damage
to his horses (speed dropping to11). Black caught green and did
three wheel points to green and four to himself. UGLY.
On the next turn carts and horses of tiger, bears, white,
yellow and pink took hits. The black chariot (speed 11) managed
to whip his way to a wheel test which he failed and flipped for
Turn 13 started in the 4th curve with the bear (speed 15)
leading pink (speed 16) by a square; yellow (speed 15) and brown
(speed 17) next. The orange chariot was fastest with a speed
of 18, but was far back. Red did one more damage to his wheel
On turn 14 green received three more horse hits courtesy of
red. Blue slipped into an involuntary attack for one damage to
himself. The speeds of the leaders were pink 16, bear 15, blue
13, yellow 15 and white 15 as they approached the final turn.
Turn 15: Horses were the only targets. White got three hits,
green two, and brown one. Another spoke came out of red's right
wheel (now at 5 hits).
16 was the most entertaining for the crowd. The brown horses
took another hit, but the wheel exploded from previous damage.
Brown decided to surf his way in. Pink (with only two endurance
left) killed a bear (Winnie the Pooh) in the final turn. The
tiger chariot flipped. The gray driver decided that the -2 that
he had for a jostled driver could be eliminated instantly by
moving faster than the posted speed while jostled and automatically
flipping. He was right. Three drivers were now being dragged
through the final turn.
Turn 17: Pink led at the top of the stretch and had the highest
speed of the three leading chariots. He was not sad when his
chit was drawn first. The next closest chariot, the bears, cut
loose and shuffled forward two squares. The dragged gray driver
died, settling 11th place. White attacked the yellow horses three
times. Yellow evaded twice but the third attack scored three
more hits. Yellow attempted, but failed to trample the dragged
tiger driver. Yellow did, however, hit the white horses for a
point, which was enough to kill a horse. (The ALPO rep was by
Red hit the immobile white horses for two more points and
added one on a yellow horse for good measure. Blue lashed orange's
horses for his last endurance, slowing him for the remainder
of the race. Pink, needing only one extra space to get his chariot
across the finish line, lashed the last of his two endurance
away when his chit was drawn, and barely crossed the finish line
to win the championship. (Any other action could have given the
other drivers a last chance to attack him in the next turn.)
In subsequent turns, the brown dragged driver succombed for
10th place, followed seconds later by the tiger driver's demise
and posthumous award of 9th place. The bears took 2nd, blue 3rd
and orange 4th. Red, in a true act of defiance, took 5th without
flipping on a set of wobbly wheels that had 6 and 7 damage. In
fighting for the last plaque, yellow killed another of white's
horses, to take 6th. White limped in with a speed of 7 to clinch
7th place with its remaining two horses.
The final result was as follows:
Of the eight chariots that actually finished the race, the average
speed was down to 12. The crowd thought that it could and should
have been worse. The ALPO rep joined in the investigation of
the wimpy "NERF" wheels that did so little damage.
He was joined in the investigation by the drivers' union who
wanted to know why so many wheels exploded during the race. The
top five executives at the Firestone Romanus Wheel, Spoke and
Hubcap Co. were thrown to the lions as a result of the investigation.
The crowd was pleased.
||Tom Saal +1
||Bill Beckman 0
||Bill Edwards +1
||Anthony Musella +2
||Bret Mingo +1
||David Weinstein +2
||Paul Bolduc 0
||Lane Hess +2
||Josh Githens 0
||Howard Dawson 0
||Steven May 0
||Dakota Wenstrup 0
||Brian Leonard 0
||Steve Katz 0